Oh Black Friday

This is a repost from this day last year.  But this year I am even more disheartened by the fact that so many more retailers opted to open yesterday touting even more "deals" for our consumerism driven society.  Their opening robbed thousands of low wage retail employees of the opportunity to have a day off and the ability to spend a time honored American holiday with their families.  Is this really what America stands for?

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One of the few things that makes me embarrassed to be an American is the chaotic mob scenes and feeding frenzy that surround Black Friday.  Forget the mass consumerism aspect of what the holidays have become; it is the actual shopping madness that turns me off the most.  While most of the world was waking up, heading to work for the last day of the week, and going about their everyday business, millions of Americans are standing in line, braving crowds, and in some cases storming stores in order to score what they deemed was a great deal.  Why does the idea of buying an item, that you probably don't need in the first place, at a reduced price, drive us to join in the feeding frenzy? From stories of young children being left alone in cold vehicles while adults shop to women engaging in fist fights and guns being pulled on fellow bargain hunters, reports of these behaviors is down right humiliating.  And let us not forget the Walmart employee who was trampled to death by a crowd of over eager shoppers a few years ago.  Really?  For a Walmart item?  What on earth does Walmart sell that is so special that it causes a stampede?  Every year news reports show footage of people camping out in front of big box electronics stores so that they can get their hands on  that year's "must have" item.  Is a 51 inch flat screen television worth it?  Is receiving a free sample size of lotion because you were one of the first one hundred people to enter the store worth staying up all night?

I love a good deal just as much as the next person (maybe more) but I just don't see the attraction of this shopping frenzy.  Maybe I am jaded from my early post-college years when I worked in retail.  My Thanksgivings were never spent with family since I had to work at crack 'o dawn on Friday morning.  (I guess I should be grateful that this was in the days before stores decided to open on Thursday night).  Perhaps it is having seen the deal seeking crowds first hand that was enough to turn me off from the shopping craze.  I once had a boyfriend whose mother was a Black Friday shopping fanatic.  She would go to bed early on Thanksgiving evening so she could be the first one in the stores in the morning.  She developed her shopping strategy around who was giving away freebies at which hour and usually came home with a variety of useless items whose only appropriate use were the office white elephant party.

The Internet age has ushered in the online equivalent of the Friday shopping spectacle:  Cyber Monday.  Much like its end of the week counterpart, this is the day where great Internet deals are supposed to abound.  Maybe this is a calmer, more civilized way of shopping; I have no idea since it all takes place behind closed doors with no witnesses if you get in a fist fight with your spouse over who gets control the computer.  The irony of it all is that, like Black Friday's sales that actually begin on Thanksgiving evening, many of Cyber Monday's steals began on Saturday.   And how many of these deals are really deals?  Many of these so-called deals that keep popping up in my in-box offer no more of a savings than those that were appearing last week or even last month.  My response to each new offer is to promptly click delete but I'm probably in the minority on this since 52% of shoppers are planning on completing their holiday shopping online this year.  But will they all be shopping on Cyber Monday? Or will they be holding out for a better deal?

I recently had a conversation with several international friends about what it means to be American and what others think of as America.  It saddened me to hear that some of the first responses involved shopping malls, miles of highways, and Oprah.  Really? Italy has great food, Paris has the Eiffel Tower and the United States has Walmart?  What does that say about our country and our culture?  How do we break this stereo-type?  Images of brawling bargain hunters buying mass quantities of cheap Chinese produced merchandise certainly isn't the answer.  Maybe I need to just accept America for what it is:  the land of the free and the home of the brave and mass consumerism.

Talking Turkey Take Two (Three & Four)

Gobble!  Gobble!  Yes, today is Thanksgiving and more than any other, this holiday is all about food.  And not just any food but the turkey (or in my case, its the side dishes that take center stage).  But in reality, without the turkey, it just wouldn't feel like Thanksgiving.  Living overseas, procuring the requisite turkey can sometimes prove to be a challenge.  You just need to log onto any ex-pat blog to see what measures Americans will go through in order to put a turkey on their Thanksgiving table.  Where turkey isn't available any combination of fowl may be substituted with varying results.  But if it isn't turkey........  For many Americans however, when you say the word turkey, we immediately think about a Butterball turkey.  (And as we discovered, Butterball turkeys are as coveted here in Albania as well; mention turkey to an Albanian and they say it is good, tell them it is a Butterball and their level of excitement skyrockets).  Currently we are fortunate that we not only have access to fresh turkeys on a seasonal basis but we also have the ability to import Butterball turkeys from American military bases located here in Europe.  So this year, there is plenty of turkey to go around.

Because we love Thanksgiving and (now) have a ready stash of Butterball turkeys in our freezer I am excited to once again be hosting a dinner today for some of our closest Albanian friends.  I'm even going out on a limb for the first time and following the advice of a good friend, am roasting my turkey from the frozen state.  Yes, you read that right, I plopped the entire frozen bird in the oven this morning and as I type, it is roasting away and smelling very much like a turkey.  (The complete story will surely be a future blog post!).  We haven't even sat down to eat the bird yet and Glenn is already talking about the turkey sandwich he will make with the leftovers.

But this is not our first Thanksgiving of the year.  Last month we hosted a mock Thanksgiving dinner that was profiled in an Albanian lifestyle magazine.  We ate the 30 pound turkey for more meals than I want to remember and only finished up the last of the frozen leftovers last week ---just in time for us to stock up on more turkey leftovers.  Last night, Americans from our Embassy were the guests of the President of Albania at a very large, American style Thanksgiving dinner.  Attending a dinner the night before our own big dinner had been the last place that I wanted to be, but off we went.  (And unlike our holiday travels back in the U.S., this dinner only required a three minute drive to get there).  Served in the Palace of Brigades, which is one of Albania's more impressive buildings, the multi-course meal blended both American and Albanian customs and foods with turkey being the centerpiece of the meal.  And just in case we haven't had our fill of turkey and all of the accompanying sides, tomorrow we will be eating our fourth Thanksgiving feast when we join friends from the Embassy who are hosting their own holiday dinner.  I'm guessing that by the time Monday rolls around I will be very tired of turkey.  So much so that I'm already planning a Christmas dinner that includes beef rather than, you guessed it......turkey.


Gobble, gobble.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday: Thanksgiving w/ Albanian Living Magazine

I blogged about the experience here; now you can see what it looked like.

Rules Of The Road

Traffic fatalities are a problem in Albania.  According to the Albanian Ministry of Health, traffic accidents are one of the leading causes of death in this tiny Balkan country.  Here, victims of traffic accidents account for the highest percentage of emergency room usage with incidents of traffic related accidents being 3.5% higher here than they are in the rest of Eastern and Central Europe and aren't showing any signs of decreasing.  The U.S. Department of State warns American citizens of the dangers of Albanian roads both as a driver and as a pedestrian (since hit and run incidents are all too common).  Even in conversations with Albanians I've noticed a reluctant acceptance as though traffic fatalities are just a way of life here.  We hear of fatalities in the news, communities mourn and bury their dead, then life and driving habits seem to continue on a normal.  More likely than not, people will cite the weather or conditions of the roads as the cause of the problem (yes, they are bad) rather than the speeding and distracted driver, the lack of safe vehicles, or the unsecured passengers.  Just this past week the death of a sitting member of Parliament in a traffic accident has pushed this issue back into the news.  One can only hope that such a high level death will be bring about the changes that are needed to put a halt to this easily preventable epidemic.

But the high number of Albanian traffic fatalities can't be attributed to a lack of laws.  In fact, according to information provided by the World Health Organization, Albania has a rather high number of laws on the books that should in fact be reducing the number of traffic accidents and fatalities.  National laws regarding speeding, driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, the use of child safety seats, and seat belt use for both drivers and passengers are all readily cited as existing in the law books.  The problem, one must surmise, lies in the enforcement, or lack there of, of these laws.  (Actually, Albanians and Albanian Parliament seem to love passing laws; it is enforcing them that becomes the problem.  Albanians are quick to justify actions as there being a law about the said issue yet rarely does anyone say that these said laws are ever enforced).

In the wake of this week's high profile fatality, police officials are stepping forward with statements promising both increased enforcement and increased education.  (This sounds promising, at least).  In fact, it appears that the government has slowly been edging in this direction.  A few weeks ago the police announced that they would now be arresting drunk drivers on the spot rather than issuing them tickets and allowing them to go on their merry way.  Yes, you read that correctly.  While this sounds like a logical and long over due measure, it begs the question as to whether there is a real understanding of the dangers of drinking and driving.  How does issuing a fine yet allowing an inebriated driver to remain behind the wheel make the streets safer?

The lack of enforcement can't be due to a lack of police presence on the streets.  Blue uniform clad officers holding traffic lolly pops are a regular sight all most of Albania's roads.  I often see them standing in the center of intersections holding their citation books and directing traffic with frantic movements of their sticks.  But as I see cars packed with too many passengers speed by them, others drive against the flow of traffic, and still more drivers create new lanes of traffic because there is space to do so, I wonder what laws these officers are actually enforcing.  I have witnessed what appears to be an increase in enforcement lately---vehicles driving the wrong way during our short morning commute are getting pulled over more often-- but somehow when I see the arguments that ensure then the police officer simply shrug as the irate driver pulls away, I wonder if this is really enough.

So let's discuss the education component of all this.  There is talk of creating public service announcements to educate drivers as to what traffic signs and signals mean, the purposes of solid lines down the middle of the street, and why you can't just drive and park on sidewalks or any other open space you encounter.  Albania certainly isn't lacking for drivers education schools--you see old Mercedes toting "auto skolle" signs plying all of the country's roads and highways--so it begs the question of what these students are actually learning in class.  Apparently it isn't the importance of obeying speed limits and road rules.  Drivers are quick to use their blinkers before turning or coming into oncoming traffic.  However, in doing so it appears that they think that looking both ways (or either way) is no longer necessary.  (Never making eye contact with other drivers seems to be the one "traffic rule" that everyone obeys).  Drivers here seem to think that if there is space in the road (or sidewalk) they are entitled to drive there even if it means driving into on coming traffic or endangering everyone around them.  All too often I've seen cars driving the wrong way in a traffic circle or into the oncoming lane of a divided highway simply because it appears to be the shortest route between where the car is coming from and where it is heading.  Our own single Albanian traffic accident occurred when the driver of a van backed into us and justified his actions to the police with the excuse that he backed down the street every day.  Since our car didn't suffer any damage the van driver was sent on his way and we were told we should have used our car horn to warn him of our presence.  Really?  I guess the lesson in all of this was that we need to get out of the way of all vehicles since everyone, regardless of the direction in which they are moving, has the right of way.  Does all of this happen because drivers don't know or do they simply not care?

I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen seat belts being worn and more often than not the number of bodies packed into a vehicle far exceeds the number of seats.  Child safety seats are now readily available in Tirana's stores yet I've been told that they take up too much space and wouldn't allow as many passengers to be able to fit into the vehicle.  Instead I regularly see infants and toddlers (sometimes multiple children) sitting on the laps of front seat passengers and even the drivers themselves.  Since the number of vehicles driving around with head indentations on their windshields isn't sending a clear enough message, perhaps there needs to be an education campaign to inform drivers about the basic laws of physics and why it is dangerous to have unsecured passengers in the vehicle.

The entire traffic situation begs the question of which comes first, the chicken or the egg.  Does enforcement (and I mean real enforcement) of the existing laws come first in an attempt to make it safer for everyone in Albanian to move around the country?  Or does the country first undertake a massive education campaign to teach drivers what they need to know in order to navigate the roads safely? Or do both activities take place simultaneously?  How can drivers be held accountable for both their actions and the laws that as drivers, they should know?  In a country that is all about personal responsibility and accountability, doesn't each and every driver have the responsibility to both know and obey the law?

Its A Date!

A what?  A date.  Otherwise known as a chance to spend quality one-on-one time with your partner without the interruption of ringing phones, small talk with colleagues, needy children fighting for your attention, and dozens of other interruptions that define daily life.  If you are married, have children, and / or work inside or outside of the home you know exactly what I am referring to.  And last night, Glenn and I went on one.

In our house, dates currently don't happen very often. After we got married but before we became parents we regularly went out on dates.  These quiet dinners followed by a movie were a regular part of our weekly schedule giving us an opportunity to relax, reconnect, and enjoy each other's company.  Now, not so much.  In fact, the last time we had a date was when we were in Paris celebrating our wedding anniversary back in April.  Yes, it had really been that long since we have had alone time.  That doesn't mean we haven't been out. We get dressed up and go out to dinners and receptions on a regular basis but these events are always work related where our purpose is to schmooze rather than enjoy a fine meal and each other's company.  After spending numerous evenings out at official functions most nights we can't muster the energy to go out on our own opting to stay in and spend time with Sidney instead.  We do go out to eat with Sidney but dining with a four year old means ordering quickly, spending the meal making sure food ends up where it is supposed to, and leaving the restaurant before a disruptive melt down ensues.  These are hardly relaxing affairs. So yes, the idea of a real adults-only date is quite exciting.

So last night we went on a real live date.  We walked to a restaurant that we had been wanting to try.  In what is almost typical Albanian fashion, we had the place to ourselves even though we were dining at a "normal" Balkan dining hour.  At first it was kind of odd since it was just us and a handful of waiters but it actually meant we got great service.  They were ready to serve us but didn't hover.  We didn't feel rushed since there was clearly no one waiting for our table.  We were able to eat our meals at a leisurely pace, enjoy our wine and talk.  I mean really talk.  Without interruptions too.  Not about the details and priorities of family and office life but of any topic that came to mind.  From the serious to the silly it was all on the table.  It felt so adult and was wonderfully relaxing and was just what we needed.  We even ordered dessert and after dinner drinks before leisurely walking back to our car and the reality of our daily lives.

And now it is Saturday and we are back to reality.  There are appointments to go to, holiday preparations to be made and an energetic four year old boy to entertain.  Last night is already fading into a distant memory but it sure was nice while it lasted.  We need to remember this feeling and make sure we don't go another six months before we do it again.

The Calm Before The Storm

I feel like I'm sitting on the cusp of a storm where once I take the next step there will be no going back.  What storm you ask?  The birthday-holiday-moving one.  Sidney's birthday is next week.  Yes, my little baby will turn four two days before Thanksgiving.  He's informed me that at three he is still little but when he turns four he will be a big boy.  And as such, he has some very firm ideas about his cake; chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting of course topped with whipped cream and chocolate syrup.  Before that he wants to eat bacon and waffles for breakfast then hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for dinner.  (This is not my idea of a culinary good time but he is the birthday boy after all and I told him he could eat whatever he wants).  More importantly, if the weather holds Glenn and I have a very special surprise for our airplane loving boy this weekend.  Yes, I'm stooping to something I had always told myself I wouldn't do and we are celebrating his birthday two days early because it is just easier.  To some people that might make me a bad mom but I'm just trying to be practical and make sure he gets the birthday he wants and deserves.  So if that means it is celebrated early, so be it.  

 

And that is because right on the heels of his birthday comes the annual American food festival called Thanksgiving.  For me, it is the single biggest cooking and food day of the year and it takes time to prepare.  As usual, we're hosting a dinner for friends.  And although our guest list is small (just 8 compared to the 24 of recent years), in a week that is already filled with other non-negotiable commitments, my cooking and preparation time is limited. Somehow even with fewer guests the number of dishes I have planned has increased.  I'm not sure when it will all be cooked but it will.  Because like Sidney's birthday, it has to be done.

 

Once Thanksgiving is behind us December is upon us with her requisite decorating and rounds of holiday parties and dinners at which we will be both guests and hosts.  Gifts need to be selected, purchased and wrapped and another round (or two) of cooking will ensue.  Oh, and did I mention this little thing called an international move that will be taking place in January?  Yes, we need to prepare for that one too.

 

So today I'm stepping back and taking a deep breath to prepare myself for the storm that is to come.  T.G.I.F.  Because once Saturday hits there will be no turning back.  

Windows Into History

Crosses outside of an
Orthodox church in
Bucharest, Romania

Wednesday's post was a pictorial of some of the European churches we have visited.  It was only while looking at my pictures from the past two years that I realized just how many churches we have visited.  I've lost track of the exact number we've toured but I feel confident in saying that we've toured at least one, and likely more, in each city and country we've traveled to.  Its almost ironic that visiting churches has become the highlight of so many of our travels.  Despite Glenn's being a graduate of Catholic school and my being a religion minor in college, neither one of us is what you could consider religious and unless we are visiting family, we do not attend church services.  But drop us into a foreign city and we are quick to visit the local cathedral, lesser known churches, and mosques as well. Even Sidney knows the routine and removes his hat and speaks in a whisper when we approach any church.  Perhaps it is because of our secular view on life that we can really appreciate these centers of religious life for their sheer beauty, architectural magnificence and historical significance.  Whether the churches are Muslim mosques, Roman Catholic cathedrals, or Orthodox Christian monasteries, each one is unique in its own way and provides visitors with a brief peak into a community's heritage and silently speaks to the rich and diverse history of Europe.

There are are two things that I'm discovering with the more time I spend overseas. First, despite its (comparatively) small size, Europe is culturally diverse and as such, has a diverse religious heritage meaning churches are every where.  And I do mean every where.  In many cities it is possible to visit churches of differing faiths all within a block of one another.  The second thing I've come to realize is that Europe is old. I mean really old and not the "new" old of the United States.  Stepping foot into a church dating back many hundreds, if not thousands, of years is much more common than visiting one built during our lifetime.  And these churches speak directly to the times during which they were constructed.  Ornate or stark, gilded, stone or wooden, all are important houses of worship for their followers.

Paris' Notre Dame Cathedral was impressive but I liked the
neighboring Sainte Chapelle better

Prior to coming to Albania I had heard the call to prayer but never stepped foot inside of a mosque.  My first of many mosque visits was to the world famous Blue Mosque in Istanbul, Turkey and I was immediately struck by its grand size and ornate blue tiles.  Its opulence rivaled that of the grandest of gilded Catholic cathedrals.  Other smaller mosques in the city were almost but not quite as grand as well.  The Catholic churches of western Europe are some of the most ornate and lavishly decorated buildings I have ever encountered.  In many of them, even the "lesser" churches everything appears to be gilded in gold.  I expected as much when visiting the Vatican and St. Peter's Basilica, but had expectations of seeing fewer jewels and gold in other churches.  I quickly found that this wasn't necessarily the case.  It continues to boggle my mind when I think about the sheer net worth of these churches where the walls and ceilings alone probably cost more than the annual budget of a small country.  At the same time, I've learned that these cathedrals weren't built overnight, often taking centuries to complete.  From a historical perspective, it is easy to understand that during the darker periods in history, where religion played such a large role in everyday life, even the most common  of people would give their money to "the Church" with the hope of achieving happiness and enlightenment in their after life.  But then again, not all Catholic churches are gilded in gold.  Traveling through the countries encompassing the former Austro-Hungarian empires, many of the churches are sparsely decorated stone sanctuaries where the sound of a pin dropping would be sure to echo.  Again, this speaks to the times

Inside St. Mary's Basilica in Krakow, Poland

and places where these churches were built.  Many of the Orthodox churches I've visited have tended to be dark and solemn, smelling heavily of incense. This was particularly the case during our travels through Romania and Bulgaria where the churches we visited may have had ornate carvings and frescoes that rivaled those found in Catholic churches but were much darker and more somber than the gold gilded insides of their Catholic contemporaries.  From the narrow seats that serve as pews to the somber faced icons on the walls, these churches leave me with the feeling that life, and the church itself, is a punishment and mental, if not physical, torture.  But their darkness has its own form of beauty and to me at least, speaks volumes about the history and times of the church.  

Frescoes in Voskopoja

And then you have Albanian churches.  During the Communist era, all forms of religion were outlawed and Albania was officially designated as a secular state.  Many, but not all, of the churches and religious icons were destroyed and religion of any kind was not practiced publicly.  (Fortunately, some of the more historically valuable icons were spared destruction and are now housed in a museum in the city of Korce).  Today, Albania is a religiously tolerant country that on paper is predominently Muslim but it has its share of Catholic and Orthodox churches as well.  Old churches and monasteries exist in various states of (dis)repair but for the most part they lack the ornate trappings found in so many other churches.  In some churches you can see remnants of frescoes and other religious icons but in others you encounter nothing but barren stone walls.  The hilltop town of Voskopoja, once a thriving commercial hub in the Balkans but now a small village with numerous churches in various conditions, is undergoing a renaissance of sorts where her ancient churches are being painstakingly restored.  Many of them exist as piles of rubble or nothing but shells of their former selves.  New religious buildings of all faiths are being erected throughout Albania as well.  These contemporary structures may lack the grandness of older churches, but regardless of the trappings, they serve their religious purpose.  I've learned that visiting an Albanian church, regardless of its denomination, is a solemn affair but then again, this speaks directly to the history and culture of the country. 

But the message I get from visiting an Albanian church is no different than visiting one in nearby Greece or Macedonia or France or Sweden.  The religious beliefs practiced inside the walls may differ and some may be more ornate than others but all are symbolic of their people and the times in which they were built.  For me, walking into any church is like stepping back into history.   And houses of worship are an vital part of Europe's long and storied history.