Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Mean Girls

Mean girls. In the extreme form they are female bullies who resort to rumor spreading, nasty comments and deceit to exclude and manipulate others. But not everyone is a full fledge mean girl; there are the queen bees, the wannabees and the girls who fall somewhere in between. Collectively they can make one's life pretty miserable.
It sounds a lot like tween drama or the makings of a bad made for television movie but in reality they exist in real life and even more tragically, they exist at all ages. Mean girls span the generations and can be young girls, grown women and even senior citizens. Little mean girls are often the offspring of mean mammas and mean mammas are often raising their own little mean girls in the making. You would hope that mean girls are just a passing trend but they aren't. I met my first mean girl when I was in junior high, encountered even more though high school and college and sadly have continued to encounter them throughout my adult life. Sadly enough, mean girls seem to be timeless.

As an adult woman I've seem my peers acting as mean girls and was actually "mean girled" recently by another mother. Her barbed comments followed by her actions then subsequent snubbing of me initially left me speechless. But rather than be hurt---the way I was in earlier mean girl encounters--I was more irritated. I no longer feel a need to fit in or to be accepted by the masses. I also realize that while on the outside these girls may appear to have inflated egos and senses of self esteem, the opposite is more likely the case. All of the bluster and meanness is really a facade covering up one's insecurities. When one tries too hard to fit in and be accepted, more often than not, the opposite takes place. So after watching this mother's actions from afar I can honestly say that I don't have any desire to be a part of her crowd. I don't like what I see and I don't have time for those antics. I've been there and done that years ago. Now, we are grown women who should be acting as positive role models for our children instead of acting like children ourselves. Or perpetuating the cycle of bullying and being mean girls.

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