Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the fairest of them all?  Or so asks the evil queen in the classic fairy tale Snow White. She never receives the answer she likes and in real life, neither do the majority of us.  Whether we like it or not, mirrors really don't lie.  Sometimes I hear people say that particular mirrors make them look fatter or thinner or any of a variety of other perceptions.  Personally I don't believe it but if it makes others happy to think that is the case, then I don't want to take that away from them.

In our old house we had few mirrors and some of the dimmest lighting I had ever experienced, resulting in my never looking too closely at what I actually looked like.  And lacking a full length mirror, it had been years since I saw a full view of my body.  And surprisingly enough, I was quite happy with all of this.  But then I saw what I really looked like. During our recent stay in an uber modern hotel filled with bright lights and numerous mirrors I had the occasion to really look at my image and I can't say that I really liked what I saw.

Obviously, as my lack of mirrors can attest to, I'm not a particularly vain person.  In my younger years I considered myself pretty enough; by no means gorgeous but not ugly.  I always wished I was taller but somewhere in the middle of high school I realized that wasn't going to happen so I learned to accept that I was petite and would spend a lifetime getting my clothing altered.  I've been told that I have nice eyes and when I used to wear my hair long I regularly received compliments.  But all of that feels like so long ago.  Peering into the mirror I saw that my hair is thinner than it used to be and even regular bouts with deep conditioner hasn't prevented it from looking dull and flat.  And despite regular sessions with a hairdresser, those pesky grays keep making a reappearance with growing frequency.  In the bright lights of the bathroom I realized that I have not just one but a series of fine lines around the corners of my eyes.  I remember my grandmother calling them crow's feet and as a little girl I thought they only appeared on old ladies.  Now I see them in my own image being reflected back at me.  I can also see that not only have I not lost all of my "baby weight" from four years ago but my body shape has shifted and it now sags in places it never did before.  I guess this is all a part of growing old. And I am older than I was the last time I really looked in a mirror and all of the heavy duty skin creams can't do anything to change that.

As I pondered my appearance my four year old stared in amazement at his own in the same full length mirror.  He alternately smiled, made faces, and posed all while gazing in amazement at the image being reflected back at him.  He repeatedly requested "Mamma look at me" and marveled at what he saw.  His reactions were in complete contrast to mine and despite my grim feelings about my own reflection I couldn't help but smile at his enjoyment.  Soon I found myself hamming it up right along side him.  And then he told me to smile again and I did and momentarily forgot about my own initial displeasure at what I saw.  For that brief moment I looked and felt years younger, smiling at my reflection and realizing that my reflection was just that; a reflection.  When I smiled I had a happy image, when I frowned a sad one.  With the smile the fine lines around my eyes appeared finer, I focused less on my hair and body and I felt younger than I had in a long time.  The bouncing child beside me reminded me that yes, image is just that and that when looking in the mirror you see what you want to see.  Mirrors really don't lie, they just  reflect reality.

An Issue Of Image

Following in true European summer tradition, we are about to set off on our annual two week holiday.  Last night, in preparation for our excursion, I decided to check out the hotels where we have reservations for the coming weeks.  Glenn always takes the lead in booking our hotels and, as he has yet to make a bad choice, I rarely bother to see where we will be staying prior to the rooms being booked.  As has been the case, all of the hotels where we will be staying look very nice online.  This time, however, I noticed something that I hadn't seen on the websites of other hotels where we have stayed.  Each and every site had too thin, scantily clad women gracing their sites.  Whether it was the lone woman taking in the night view from the balcony wearing the sheerest of "evening" dresses, or the one soaking in a jacuzzi, or yet another splayed across a satin sheeted bed, it would seem that sex is being used to market these otherwise respectable, name brand hotels to prospective customers.  This wasn't for a single hotel mind you; rather it was for several spread across four different countries.  Now I've done my share of traveling and this is the first time I've seen such blatant sexuality used to market reputable hotel accommodations.  And all of these "models" were women who look nothing like the typical ones I see every day.  Who exactly is the target audience?  Is the assumption that only men are making hotel reservations?  And speaking of men, where are they?  Are these women really traveling by themselves? And if so, who hangs out in their hotel rooms dressed as they are?

This marketing campaign has me thinking about body images and how they are perceived, used, and manipulated around the world.  A five star hotel in the United States is more apt to use the image of a sophisticated couple or a businessman or no people at all on their website while it seems as though single women are what sells in the same five star accommodations in Eastern Europe.  In fact, scantily clad women seem to be used to market most things in this part of the world (and others as well.  I know this phenomenon isn't unique to this region but it does seem to be a bit more over the top here).  From restaurants and bars to automobiles, soft drinks, and yes hotels, busty skinny women wearing little clothing are hawking products everywhere I look. What messages are these advertisements sending to today's young girls about what they should look like?  And more importantly, how do we as ordinary people counter the glitzy and sexualized images that come at us from all directions?

In my younger years I might have (and did) viewed these images and wondered what I had to do to look like these idealized women.  Now that I am older and wiser I understand that I will never be six feet tall nor will I be a size 2 and I am more than happy with that.  Do I love the way I look?  Some days I do while on others I don't.  Over time I've learned to deal with both the things I like about my body and the things I don't.  It isn't always easy when I look around me, but I'm doing the best I can.

But I am also hopeful.  During recent beach excursions I saw European women of all ages, shapes, and sizes enjoying the sun and sand.  While I was clad in what I consider my age and body appropriate Lands End swimsuit, everyone else was wearing much smaller and more revealing swim wear.  (Or wearing nothing at all).  And you know what?  I didn't see a single body that looked anything like the glossy images that stare down at us from billboards and websites.  Many of the women around me had sags, bumps, and wrinkles---the skin and bodies of real women--- but they weren't letting that stop them from enjoying themselves.  I found it deeply refreshing that regardless of the images that are so prevalent, so many of these women were comfortable in their own skins.  Perhaps media doesn't have the influence I think it does.  At least I can hope.