In A Pressure Cooker

Ah, 2014.  Its a new year and one filled with a lot of changes coming our way.  In just twenty-one short days (gulp) we will be on an airplane heading to the new country that will become our home for the next three years.  But before we board that plane, we have a lot of loose ends that need to be tied up.   There is the house to pack, goodbyes to be said, and final events to attend--both as hosts and as guests.  (And yes because we believe in doing things right up until the last minute, we're even hosting one final formal dinner in our house.  Call us committed or crazy--you decide).  Yes, this is an exciting yet overwhelming time.

My biggest concern at the moment is explaining all of these changes to an inquisitive and uber aware four year old.  We've been discussing the impending move with him for some time and some days he's on board and others not so much.  He's been a part of the purging process, selecting much loved but no longer played with toys to donate to those who are less fortunate.  He's talked about making new friends in Belgium and wanting to have those yet to be made friends over to his house to play.  But that is on the good days.  On others, his watching items go into boxes has elicited protests of not wanting to move, the desire to stay here and live with his nanny, and essentially maintaining the Albanian status quo.  Add in this week's school physical, vaccinations and the mere prospect of going to school and we have one unhappy little boy.  Using logic only a four year old can comprehend, he isn't crying or throwing tantrums about all of this; rather he is firmly stating that he doesn't want to go, adding in a please and thank you for good measure, and offering alternatives (i.e. his staying with his nanny).  There are moments when I think illogical crying would be easier to address.  Obviously the emotional aspects of this move are going to be anything but easy.  Can you say pressure?  Well, I can.

And this is why I had to laugh when I saw the theme for this month's Blogher NaBloPoMo challenge.  Yes, the theme is "pressure" and personally, the timing just couldn't be more appropriate.  The list of daily writing prompts range from personal experiences with peer pressure and working under pressure to whether pressure is positive, negative, or both.  My favorite prompt is the one discussing self-created pressure due to one's own procrastination.  So why am I even committing to daily blogging when the next month has set itself up to be pure chaos?

Perhaps I am just putting undue pressure on myself.  I mean why I am trying to do this when I will be in the midst of packing, traveling, and settling in.  But then I answer my own question by realizing that it is my own self imposed procrastination technique.  More so, I've learned that writing is my emotional outlet allowing me to simultaneously ponder, vent, and most importantly, have a few minutes of true me-time each day.  January's entries are apt to be brief and even disjointed but in all likelihood, they will be what gets me through the next few weeks.  If nothing else, my entries this month can serve as a reminder of this exciting, busy, and frustrating time for us.  Maybe they can be a type of lessons learned diary.  I just need to remember to revisit them in three years when we do this all over again.