A Sinking City?

A recent Washington Post article left me simply feeling sad. The article was about our old home city of Norfolk, Virginia and focused on the growing flooding problem in the city. Norfolk is a city surrounded by water and is low lying with many places being barely above sea level. It stands to reason that the area floods; I remember the flooding all too well.While hurricanes, tropical storms or Northeasters were reason to worry, a simple heavy afternoon rain storm was enough to cause the city's waterways to overflow, underpasses to flood and streets to become rivers. I quickly became adept at figuring out which streets were most prone to flooding and learned how to safely navigate from my downtown office to my house when the streets were flooded. But not everyone was so savvy. During our years in Norfolk I lost track of the number of times I saw cars floating in flooded underpasses. Yes, even under the best of conditions water was everywhere. It was simultaneously beautiful and scary but reminded me that despite all of our modern technology, Mother Nature was really in control.

Although we left Norfolk in 2010 I knew the water problem was only getting worse but I didn't realize just how quickly the problem was growing. And then I saw the article. Norfolk's water problems are two fold. First, normal tides in Hampton Roads have risen an average of 1 1/2 feet over the past century, reflecting an increase that is higher than the rest of the East Coast. (But the entire East Coast has been designated as a sea level rise hot spot). Secondly, Norfolk is actually sinking. Yes, sinking. 35 million years ago a meteor hit the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay creating a crater that is now slowly consuming Norfolk. Simply put, all of this water does not bode well for a city whose existence has always revolved around the sea.

But the Post article struck a particular chord with me when I saw the Reverend of the church we were married in talking about how the flooding problem was forcing her church to seek a new physical home. This made my heart lurch. The beautiful old Unitarian Universalist Church sits on the edge of the Hague, a basin of water abutting what I consider to be the most beautiful part of the city. The thought of this church, which holds such special memories for me, being flooded out was simply so sad. Water was a problem when we got married and I feared flooding on our rainy wedding day but fortunately for us, on that April day the water never overflowed the banks like I had seen it do so many times before.

Despite the vocal minority who still denies its existence, global warming is at the root of these water problems. Throwing a lot of money at the problem may offer short term solutions for today's Norfolk residents but it won't stop the ever increasing presence of the rising water. I don't want to sound like a fatalist but it would appear that there really isn't a long term solution to the problem. Mother Nature really is in charge. And while I believe her force is awe inspiring this dilemma makes me sad. Very very sad.

Extra! Extra! Can You Still Read All About It?

Is print media obsolete?  When I was in the U.S. --and even during my short stateside visit this past summer-- reading The Washington Post while sipping my morning coffee was an important daily ritual that wasn't to be missed.  When I travel to other cities, both domestic and international, I try to read at least one local newspaper.  Whether it be a large internationally recognized publication or a local arts and entertainment guide, newspapers provide a unique insight into a community.  From front page articles to back page advertisements, what gets published (or isn't published) says a lot about a community's culture and values.  My favorite part of any newspaper is by far the opinions, editorials, and letters to the editor sections that grace every newspaper. Where else can you get a better sense of the political and social vibe of a community?  From editors endorsing right wing candidates to crotchety old men with too much time on their hands, these printed words speak volumes about a city or town.  But are print newspapers soon to be a thing of the past?

Last night's 60 Minutes ran a feature on the impending move on the part of New Orleans Times-Picayune to reduce their production from a daily newspaper to one that is printed three times a week.  Citing reduced readership combined with increased expenses, the paper's publishers state that this move is the only one that can help keep the newspaper financially solvent.  The situation in New Orleans isn't unique; across the United States newspapers of all sizes have been shuttering their presses or reducing their production over the past few years.  From Cleveland to Baltimore to Honolulu, dailies are being printed no more.  And what happens in a community when the press isn't readily apparent?  Even here in Albania, where the media is rampant and partisan to a fault, newspapers play an important role in making information public and in many instances, holding politicians and other public figures accountable for their actions.  If reporters weren't so ready to report the news as it happens, how would the rest of us find out about what is happening in our own communities?  Many blame the Internet for making print media obsolete but I think that both forms of media can co-exist.  Yes we can read about news as it happens on the Internet but not everyone has ready access to the world wide web.  Don't these people deserve access to the news as well?  Will prolific letter writers continue to submit letters to the editor if it can only be done online?  (I think they will but the authors will be a different genre of readers and something is sure to be lost in this transition).

Being separated from home delivery or a local newstand selling the paper, I now read The Washington Post's online version each morning as I drink my coffee.  Sure I can click through the articles without having to worry about getting newspaper print on my hands but somehow the experience just isn't the same.  It feels cleansed and distanced from the real thing.  Missing are advertisements and in their place are annoying pop-up windows.  (I also no longer have access to the colorful flyers and coupons that are stuffed into an already think weekend edition).  Reader responses to articles are terse snippets rather than thoughtful prose.  Maybe I am just dating myself and need to get with the times.  I know that without this high tech edition I wouldn't be able to read any of the paper and I should be grateful for that. I am. But I long for all of the sensory images that come from the real deal.  I can only hope that the real thing continues and that someday I will be able to fall back into my original age old morning routine.

Sharing in the Pain

Tricare is the Department of Defense's health care plan for all of the United States' 9.7 million active duty and retired military members and their dependents.  Love it or hate it---and there are strong proponents in both camps-- as a military family it is our only military provided health care option.  We are free to go elsewhere for our health insurance but I can guarantee you that we won't find it anywhere else for less money.  I have my share of gripes with the system but at the end of the day I am grateful for the fact that in a world where many people are chronically uninsured or under insured, my family has the security of health insurance.  As an active duty family this insurance comes at no cost to us; while we may have minimal co-pays on occasion, the entire cost of our annual premium is paid by the U.S. taxpayers (which does include us).  I appreciate this generous freebie but I'm sure I am in the minority of military families when I say that in today's fiscally constrained environment, I think each and every one of us needs to be contributing financially to this ever ballooning expense. 

For some time I've felt that military members and their families, both active duty and retirees, should be required to contribute financially to the cost of our own health care.  Where else does one get entirely free health insurance--which usually equates into free health care-- for themselves and every one of their dependents for life?  Opponents to passing on expenses argue that military families have already contributed enough to their country.  Yes, we have contributed a lot but so have our country's police, fire fighters, and others who put themselves in harms way on a daily basis in the course of doing their jobs.  For better or worse, we all knew what we were getting into when we signed up so I don't think it is too much to ask all of us to give a little more.  Perhaps reading too many military spouse blogs that decry how horrible and unfair their free Tricare is coupled with seeing people not taking care of their own health through diet and exercise when there are free medications available to them has made me too cynical on this subject.  Maybe it is my own past of relying upon a civilian HMO where I had to make choices about what was important to me and actually paying the corresponding costs that makes me think everyone should contribute to the cost of their health care.  Personally, when I am forced to open up my own wallet to pay for my care (which I have done on numerous occasions when I decided to undergo procedures not covered by Tricare), I think twice about what is and isn't important to me in terms of care. 

This morning's Washington Post ran an editorial on the Tricare debate in terms of the overall Department of Defense budget.  Vital components contributing to troop readiness such as operations, weapons, and training are all on the chopping block while personnel expenses including Tricare have been made off limits by the Senate Armed Services Committee.  With a budget increase from $19 billion in fiscal year 2001 to $52.8 billion in fiscal year 2011, Tricare is literally eating up the Department of Defense budget.  DOD and the Obama administration have put forth proposals that, while they would increase health care costs for retirees, would still keep costs considerably lower than they are for the rest of the population.  Given the number of retirees, that is a lot of close to free health care. I don't understand why there is such resistance to this.  I am having a hard time accepting the argument that paying a maximum of $2,000 a year for health care is too expensive.  I'm sure there are thousands of uninsured people who would jump at the opportunity. 

If the U.S. military is supposed to be the ultimate patriotic organization shouldn't we, as members of this organization, be willing to do our part to help keep our country financially stable?  The combination of advances in modern medicine and an aging population means the financial costs of health costs is only going to increase over time.  And we're not just talking about our elderly veterans.  Any active duty military member can retire after twenty years of service and be eligible for Tricare's retiree health insurance for the rest of their life.  The "fiscal cliff" that is currently being debated in Washington is going to look like nothing in a few years if something isn't done soon about rising health care costs.  I for one would gladly pay more (or anything for that matter) to continue to have access to quality health care.  We need to all give a little to continue to get a lot in return.  After all, active duty military family or retiree, we too are U.S. taxpayers and we owe it to our country and ourselves to do our part. 

Parenting Albanian-American Style???

Just when I thought there couldn’t be any more issues that could make me feel insecure about my parenting skills I have stumbled up on a whole new set.   Parenting books aren’t new and as a recent piece in the Washington Post reiterates, everyone has a different take on what is the best way to raise a child.  Conflicting parenting philosophies cross generational, socio-economic, and geographic boundaries and the debate can be downright testy at times.  French, Chinese, American, or Albanian, can't we just all raise our children in the way we see fit without interjecting our views on each other?

I can state with conviction that I am not someone who was born with the “mothering gene”.  In many ways parenting does not come naturally to me but thanks to my inner academic nerdiness I do my research and power through. Only time will tell but to date, I don’t think I have inflicted any lasting damage on Sidney.  As my own doctor and Sidney doctors have told me, I came into parenthood as an “older mother”.  Most days I like to think that with this age comes wisdom and life experience that helps guide my decisions.  There are other days, however, that my insecurities about my parenting skills pop up. Maybe it is because I am older that I am more aware of how my actions influence Sidney’s development.  This could be good, or it could be bad.   Only time will tell.

I’ll admit that part of the attraction of moving overseas was to escape the high pressure child raising atmosphere of the United States.  In an era when raising a child can be compared to a competitive sport I often feel overwhelmed by the unsolicited advice that pours in from what I hope are well meaning friends and family.  Opinions about breastfeeding versus formula, co-sleeping versus crying it out, and the “right” foods to be feeding Sidney only confused me and made me feel inadequate in my decisions.  The best piece of advice I have ever received came from a fellow NICU mom who told me that I needed to do what was best for me and my son and ignore the rest.  This is great advice but it is hard to ignore all the conflicting voices that came my way. My solution?  Move to Albania!  Ok, not really.......well sort of.

I naively thought I would be able to put my parenting worries behind me by moving half a world away.  With several time zones between us perhaps I would be able to ignore the tales of “when I was raising my child………….."  Now those stories arrive via email and Skype so they are easier to ignore but they are still there just the same.  Living in a small American community in Albania, however, has brought about a whole new set of challenges.   Here I find myself trapped in an American community within an Albanian world and much like the current debate over which country raises healthier, more well rounded children, my worlds are colliding.

In my experience, Albanians have a very different take on raising children than I do.  Whereas I am the mother at the playground who allows my child to fall down then pick himself up, Albanians rush to prevent the child from falling in the first place.  I let Sidney play in the dirt and (gasp) put his dirty thumb in his mouth while Albanians tsk tsk and physically remove the said thumb from his mouth.  I know to many Albanians, I'm probably viewed as being neglectful.  Kinder ones may dismiss what they view as my indifference to parenting as my being too busy to focus on my child.  This is the Albanian aspect of my world.


The American influences here just compound the matter.  Where as most of the American moms I've met here stay at home with their children, I buck the trend and work.  It is only part time but I also have responsibilities by virtue of Glenn's job.  These too keep me surprisingly busy and I find myself not having as much time with Sidney as I would like.  I don't have the time to hang out on the playground and attend play groups with the other moms.  I'm missing out on something and more importantly, so is Sidney.  Most days I convince myself that I am happier because I am working and a happier mom makes for a happier home but some days even I can't convince myself of this.  


I am lucky to have a full time nanny who loves Sidney as though he was her own child.  Sadly, most weeks she spends more waking hours with Sidney than I do.  This results in my not knowing some of the most basic things about my own son.  I still thought he loved broccoli but the nanny informed me that he stopped eating it weeks ago.  I thought Sidney loved to swing but he has apparently developed a fear of this piece of playground equipment.  The nanny knew this but I didn't.   Last week I did something I swore I would never do- instead of attending a monthly playgroup masquerading as spouse coffee, I sent Sidney with his nanny.  As I sat at my desk at the Embassy a mile away I felt the shame of not being an active part of my son's morning activity.  I wondered what the other moms must be thinking.


I tell myself that raising Sidney in a foreign country is good for him and his ability to master a foreign language at an early age will serve him well later in life.  Most days I believe this but on others, my insecurities rear their ugly heads.  When I stare hopelessly at Sidney as he speaks to me in Albanian and I just don't understand, I wonder if this really is the best thing for him.  Will he be able to communicate with children his own age when we return to the U.S.?  I tell myself that as Sidney plays in the dirt he is just being a boy and exploring his surroundings.   I try to stifle the voice in my head that questions what may be in the dirt.  When I am too tired to cook dinner and Sidney eats hotdogs for dinner I convince myself that ketchup is a vegetable.  

On a daily basis I remind myself of those words of wisdom passed on to me by that other NICU mother.  I too must do what I think is best for Sidney. If this means hotdogs for dinner after playing in the dirt, so be it.  If he spends the entire day with the nanny at least he is with someone who cares for  him and loves him.  And that is what is what is the best for all of us. 

Show Me the Money

One of my recent posts discussed the trials and tribulations of being a trailing spouse.  In it I pondered the realities of giving up a career to follow my spouse around the world as he furthers his career.  I wondered how, if ever, I would be able to reenter the workforce in a meaningful way and how I would be able to take my considerable experiences and market them in a society that attaches a concrete dollar value to work.  I just may have found one of the answers to my question.

One of the blogs I regularly follow is that of Jane D'Arcy, who pens the On Parenting  column in the Washington Post.  I don't always agree with D'Arcy's point of view but her columns never fail to make me think about parenting, society, and life in a new light.  For me, her February 2, 1012 column entitled A Homemaker's Real Salary spoke to the very heart of the trailing spouse issue and puts a starting dollar figure on what I am worth.  At first glance the figures she presents look inflated but upon closer contemplation, I do believe they are fair.  After all, I do perform all of these tasks and like a mailman, I do them through snow, sleet, and falling rain.  I don't get sick days (as evidenced by the fact I am now on day 13 of my cold and I'm still plugging away) and vacations are actually more work than staying home. 

I remember our financial planner urging us to take out additional life insurance on me since he claimed that the value of my contributions to the Brown house outweighed those of Glenn.  I was skeptical but after reading D'Arcy's column, I am reconsidering my position.  A part of me wants to shout to those cynics who poo-poo my homemaker status as not being real work.  I have the urge to point out to them that if I was receiving a paycheck for my efforts, I'd probably be out earning them. 

I'm going to resist- for the moment anyway.  However, I just may have to ask Glenn for a raise.