Diverse Skeletons

Last week I took Sidney to the base library's Halloween party. There the kids listened to stories, ate and did craft activities while dressed in their costumes. It was a simple activity but you would never have known it by the excitement the kids expressed for everything that was happening. When it came time for the craft activity Sidney chose the one that involved constructing a skeleton out of Q-tips. He happily taped the white swabs onto black construction paper and when he was finished, sat back to admire his masterpiece. After looking critically at his then at the ones made by the other children, he immediately asked why all of the skeletons looked so different. I explained that just as every person looked different on the outside their skeletons looked different on the inside. He nodded and seemed to accept my answer but his question got me thinking.

It made me realize that we live in a pretty diverse world. Since Sidney was a baby we have lived in foreign environments surrounded by people who both look similar to and different than us, hailing from countries spanning the globe and speaking languages that we understand, at least recognize or can't even place on a map. Because of all this, Sidney has essentially been immersed in natural diversity since his earliest memories and therefore takes this diversity in stride. When describing a classmate or friend from the playground to me he has never once used skin color as a descriptor. He'll talk about the child's clothing, what they were doing or even the language they speak but never has color come into play. And when I look at this playmates while I see a Crayola box of diversity amongst them, he simply sees his peers. They are the kid who has the good snacks, the one who always causes trouble and the boy who doesn't like to play Star Wars. That's it. (And if I describe someone using skin color he simply looks at me strangely). The flags of all of the NATO countries fly near the entrance to the base. A favorite game of Sidney's is to identify as many of the flags as he can. He takes it one step further when identifying a flag and tells me which of his classmates is from that particular country and what languages they speak. And speaking of languages, rather than being turned off by hearing a language he doesn't recognize, Sidney either gets excited and names the language when he hears one he knows or asks what language is being spoken when he can't place it himself. Hearing English does excite him beyond belief and he is quick to identify the differences between American and British English. (We're still working on the distinction between the English dialects of other countries).

I love the fact that at this point in his life Sidney is essentially blind to skin color. He accepts his peers based on what they can and cannot do rather than what they look like. (Perhaps all children do this to some extent). My only wish is that I could harness this openness forever. How much easier would life be if skin color, physical characteristics or language wasn't one of the first things we adults use to identify people with. Obviously none of these traits matter to kids so why do they matter so much to adults?

Into The Melting Pot

What does your typical American look like? This is a question my international friends often ask me. A few tell me that I am what they think of when they think of an American. (Hmmmm.....I'm not exactly sure how to take this). Ask an international group to describe a typical American (as I have done) and the responses I heard included being loud, driving big vehicles and living in large houses, and generally having too many things. These characteristics may be true for many Americans, including a lot that I know, but it certainly doesn't describe everyone or even close to everyone. So what exactly is a typical American anyway?

If you don't live in America, have never visited, and don't know a lot of Americans (or even if you do), your vision of America probably comes from television and the movies. So that may mean the sleek red carpet images of Hollywood, the sun kissed indulgence of Miami and the designer hustle and bustle of New York City. But are these locations representative of what it means to be American? Surely American lives aren't all glamour, high speed car chases, and high flouting careless living. Believe it or not, there are people who do think what they see on the big screen is real and therefore American movies really do represent American lives. (These are probably the same people who think that being an attorney is just like being on Law & Order). And then you have the other end of the spectrum. How about the so called reality shows featuring the likes of Honey Boo Boo, the mega-sized family in Nineteen and Counting or the miniature beauty queens of Toddlers & Tiaras; are these representative of America? So are American lives really reflected in our pop culture?

Compared to many countries, America is geographically huge. With an area of just over 9 million square kilometers, it is just slightly smaller than the entire European continent. And just as the countries of Europe are diverse, so are the states and regions of the United States, and therefore her people. There is the so called "Bible Belt" of the country where religion reigns supreme and conservative values come before all others. On both coasts the politics tend to be more liberal and religion plays a lesser role in daily lives. And then you have Texas; a state where everything is simply bigger.  From a culinary perspective everything in the south is battered and fried while in Chicago they love their deep dish pizza. With long Rs and fast speech accents in Boston and New York (two very distinct dialects by the way) leave you wondering whether the speakers have marbles in their mouths while southern drawls make you want to pull the words out of their mouths. The characteristics describing Americans just goes on. But wait....these are all stereotypes but do they describe typical Americans?

Maybe. In reality, all of the above and so much more is typical of America because simply put, there isn't a typical American. This country, founded on the principals of being a melting pot of of freedom, is simply diverse in the way we look, sound and act. Politics, religion, or cuisine may vary by region but even within those regions there are always people who don't fit the "typical" mold for the area. Put someone from each of the fifty states in a single room and you will have fifty different "typical" Americans.

And that is the beauty of being American. We are all different and can express these differences through varying political and religious ideals, different personal values, and even the foods we eat. So perhaps the typical American is actually atypical.

Speak To Me

Graduation season is upon us and with it comes the long string of commencement speeches. Speakers are often high profile; politicians, actors or activists; all bringing with them inspiring messages encouraging graduates to go out and take on the world. Although I have no memory of what was actually said, I remember my college speaker being the late Ann Richards,  the former Texas governor who lost her reelection bid to George W. Bush. I'm sure her words were powerful but in all honesty, after the ceremony was over I doubt I gave them another thought.

Speakers are selected in a variety of ways; perhaps through a democratic process by the student body, faculty, or administration but most often based upon their individual achievements and success in their chosen field. As leaders in their fields in the past they may have made controversial statements or issued directives or have political leanings that some people don't necessarily agree with. But strong and inspiring leaders are just that; they are leaders who make hard decisions that move us forward, for better or for worse, as they deem best. If the intent of a commencement address is to inspire and urge young adults to take risks and be strong leaders, you want such strong and outspoken people giving the speech. Or so you would think......

The most popular commencement speakers are often in high demand, requiring them to be selected months, if not years in advance of the actual graduate date. But in the past few weeks I've been hearing about speakers bowing out due to student protests or invitations to speak being rescinded at the last minute by colleges and universities because the student body no longer wants to support or hear the message. First there was a rescinded invitation from Brandeis University for human rights activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali to receive an honorary degree after she made anti-Islamic statements. Then there was former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's withdrawal from speaking at Rutgers University's graduation after faculty and students protested her role in implementing George Bush's foreign policy. And perhaps most surprisingly (to me) of all was the withdrawal of International Monetary Fund (IMF) Chief Christine Lagarde from speaking at the Smith College commencement after students criticized IMF policies for furthering "imperialist and patriarchal systems that oppress and abuse women worldwide." But the controversy around commencement speakers isn't new. Last year invitations were rescinded for speaking out against gay rights (Ben Carson, Johns Hopkins University) and for supporting them (John Corvino, Providence College). And again, the policies of the Bush administration caused another speaker (Robert Zoellick, Swarthmore College) to not speak.

By protesting Rice's appearance Rutgers students are missing out on an opportunity to hear a powerful female leader share her words of wisdom. The same holds true for Lagarde and every other speaker whose engagement was cancelled. These protests only represent a single point of view. One needs to ask why the speaker was invited in the first place. Surely there are members of the student body who agree with some or all of the controversial policies. Where is their right to hear what these speakers were going to say? But more importantly, in focusing on the politics and policies Rice, Lagarde and other implemented or supported rather than the knowledge, experience, and insight these speakers would have shared, graduates are missing out on one of life's biggest lessons: whether we like it or not, we are living and working in a diverse environment. And that means hearing viewpoints we might not necessarily agree with and thinking about how these different views have shaped the world we live in. Colleges and universities are often considered to be bubbles from the outside world. But the rest of the world isn't as sheltered and neatly packaged. So on the eve of entering that big bad world, what message is being sent by sheltering these young adults from hearing a viewpoint they might disagree with? If nothing else, that varying opinion could fire up a new generation to take on the world.

(Re)Defining Community

What is a community?  Is it defined by geography, demography, or socio-economics?  Does a community have defined boundaries or is it more organic?  Are there subsets of a community within a larger community?  Can an individual be a part of several communities simultaneously and can these boundaries merge?  Are communities just a figment of our imaginations that are cobbled together for the sake of convenience?

Professionally, and as of late personally, these are questions I ask myself.  My background is in urban planning, community development, and social work.  Through these experiences I've seen a lot.  I've spent close to twenty years working in what I think of as various geographically defined communities- poverty stricken inner city, even poorer rural, and middle class suburbs.  They have typically been defined by governmental entities- city, country, state, and  the U.S. Postal Service. Some of these places are designated "planned" communities while others have expanded or contracted more organically. Sometimes they were ethnically homogeneous and more often than not they been socio-economically they same.  For whatever reason, whether it be circumstance, choice, or a lack there of, these groups of people have come together to form a community.

In Tirana the U.S. Embassy is its own form of a community -- or as I like to say, we are a fishbowl inside of a fishbowl.  We are all here by chance, luck of the draw, or perhaps by choice.  We are temporary residents in a country that is foreign to us.  We are visitors but not permanent residents. Logic might dictate that because of this, we would naturally form our own cohesive community.  I'm not sure this is the case.  Socio-economically we are all essentially the same.  When we work at the Embassy we are all on Uncle Sam's payroll so none of us are going to become rich toiling away in the trenches of Albania.   

But this is where our similarities end. Age-wise we are a more diverse group; some of us may have entered the workforce while our coworkers were still in diapers.  There are Marines here who are young enough to be my children and recently there was another employee who could be my grandfather.  Only half of us are actual government employees, a handful of us are spouses who have managed to secure some form of employment inside the Embassy walls (I count myself as a part of this category), and the rest of us are along for the ride.  We are married, divorced, and single.  Our spouses may be American by birth or foreign born.  We may be childless by choice or not; we may have a single child or a houseful of children.  Our children may be two legged, four legged, or perhaps have no legs at all.  Our religious and political views are probably as varied as the states we call home.  We have varied interests, hobbies, and experiences.  When you look below the surface and beyond the diplomatic plates that grace our cars, we are truly a diverse group.

Because of this, I'm not sure that it makes sense, or is even possible, to assume that we will all merge into a single cohesive community.  Is this good or bad?  I don't know.  But then again, how do you define a community?