Luggage, Camera & A Child In Tow

Summer is rapidly approaching and with that comes our long awaited vacation. We're still working on the details but it looks like this year we'll be spending a month back in the United States visiting family and friends, introducing Sidney to our old East Coast haunts and simply relaxing. Yes, relaxing. Because vacations are supposed to be stress free breaks from the every day. But as any parent knows the responsibilities of parenthood are with you whether you are at home, in a hotel, or on the road meaning vacations really aren't time off from work.

Sidney is a seasoned traveler, having racked up thousands of miles through train, plane, boat, and automobile travel since he was a newborn.  I know that we are extremely lucky since, with the exception of one (horribly) memorable transatlantic flight that I'd rather forget, he travels well. Buckle him into his seat on our selected mode of transportation and we are good to go. But the ease of travel doesn't just happen; it takes work. So how do I keep stress to a minimum when vacationing with a four year old? By involving the entire family in the planning process and by being realistic about all of our expectations. It isn't always easy but with a little bit of planning vacations really can be stress free and enjoyable for the entire family. So in anticipation of the upcoming travel season, here are some of my tried and true hints for having a stress free family vacation.

PRE-TRAVEL: 

• Involve the entire family in the preparations:  

When I hear about harried moms doing all of the packing for their entire family I just shudder. My husband is a grown man who knows how to dress himself so he can pack his own suitcase. I mean, when we are at home he picks out his own clothes each morning so why should being on vacation be any different? I pack my own clothes, Glenn packs his, and Sidney now packs his own little red suitcase (with adult supervision of course). This allows Sidney to be an active part of the planning process. He also chooses which clothing, toys, and entertainment he wants to bring. And he carries all of his own entertainment in his red backpack. Involving Sidney at this level means he is excited about the process of getting to our destination. And as any parent knows, a happy child on the airplane makes for more relaxed parents. Its a win-win!

WHILE AWAY:

• Set realistic expectations:

It is easy to visit a new city and want to see everything. After all, when most of us are on vacation we have a limited amount of time and want to cram the most into our stay. Pre-child my idea of a vacation was cramming in as much sight seeing in any given location as possible. This also meant returning home exhausted and needing a vacation from my vacation. Now I take a different approach to trips. We pick a few key sites, museums, memorials, etc. we want to see in each city we travel to. We include a balance of indoor activities and more active pursuits and schedule in lots of down time whether it be back in the hotel room or lounging at a sidewalk cafe. Many of Europe's great cities have fantastic main squares and wide pedestrian zones that are sites unto themselves. They also have plenty of safe spaces for little legs to burn off energy. I've lost track of the number of hours we've spent simply roaming through one city after another. We may miss out on some famous sites (and sometimes we make new unexpected discoveries) but we are able to fully enjoy those that we do visit without being rushed.  (Besides, if we don't see everything we will just have to plan a return visit). 

BACK HOME AGAIN:

• Take a one day (or more) stay-cation at home before returning to work:

It may mean having one less day to spend at your vacation destination, but having a day to relax, unpack, and settle into your everyday routine improves the vacation experience. Returning home means suitcases needing to be unpacked, mountains of laundry needing to be washed, and a refrigerator to be restocked. If you return home late on a Sunday night and have to head off to work and school early the next morning, there simply isn't enough time to get re acclimated to home life. We now return home at least a day early meaning we have a full day to settle back into our routines. This means I can start off the new week with less stress and only fond memories of vacation.

So with summer just around the corner start making your plans now. Then each of you pack your own bags, grab your cameras and hit the road to see as little or as much as you feel like. Happy travels!

Revisiting The Grandest Bazaar Of All

One of the long halls

Spices, spices, spices

I first visited Istanbul's Grand Bazaar two years ago during our first, post-child couple's getaway weekend. This week we're back with a four year old in tow and introducing Sidney to the sights, sounds, and smells that make Istanbul Istanbul. And since no trip to this city would be complete without a stroll through the Grand Bazaar, this is where I spent an afternoon with Sidney. My impressions remain the same but visiting with a child only magnified the lights, sounds, and colors. It was once again overwhelming to the senses but exciting at the same time. In honor of this visit I'm reposting my original blog entry....

While in Istanbul we succumbed to what all first time visitors do and visited the Grand Bazaar.  Having visited sauks in Dubai I thought I knew what to expect but nothing could have prepared me for the epic scale of Istanbul's great bazaar.  There are numerous smaller shopping areas throughout the city and we inadvertently wandered through several of those during our stay.   The Grand Bazaar, however, is the granddaddy of them all.

The bazaar itself dates back to 1461.  It was originally designed to be a local shopping market and in some cases it still is today.  However, I doubt any of its original architects would recognize it as such.  Today's bazaar encompasses over 60 streets and 5,000 shops and attracts upwards of 350,000 visitors a day.  Fortunately we visited on a "quiet" Monday but I still found the crows overwhelming.

That's a lot of silver

So what did we find?  A mix of locals and fanny pack wearing tourists wandered the catacomb of hallways lined with everything from spice, leather, and carpet vendors to suave looking young men hawking fake Levis, perfumes, and knick-knacks with unidentifiable purposes.  It was loud, chaotic, and truly an experience.

Bright lights

We could hardly walk a few feet without someone calling out a sales pitch to us.  We were undeniably recognizable as Americans; so much so that when people asked us where we were from we started answering with "Albania".   That would usually throw them off long enough for us to make a hasty escape.  Carpet salesmen were the worst.  It was hard to admire the beautiful Turkish carpets on display in windows without being pestered by pushy salesmen.  The more aggressive ones chased us down the hallways using sales pitches that made me want to run rather than linger.  Salesmen at silver and diamond stores looked more distinguished but used equally cheesy pick up lines.

Some body's watching you

It seemed as though the infamous "evil eye" was sold in every other booth.  Those salesmen appeared particularly desperate.  My favorite sales pitch started with the words "I've been waiting for you."  Really?  Do people really fall for this?  I felt an incredible urge to go back to the hotel to shower after some of these come-ons.  Unfortunately when I browsed at a local soap vendor I was so turned off from the sales pitch that I just couldn't bring myself to purchase any of the olive oil soap.

We did walk away with a few small sales. It turns out that Glenn is a haggler.  Who knew?  I knew I wanted to purchase some saffron from one of the spice vendors.  Glenn stepped up to the plate and haggled our way into a significant purchase that would have broken the bank had I ordered it from my regular on-line spice store.  I also scored a kilogram of delicious apple tea.  We had tried it on several occasions and I wanted to recreate our Istanbul experience back in Tirana.  We also bought a few other items which I will refrain from discussing since the lucky recipients just might be reading this.

Bling

We think we roamed most of the hallways of the bazaar but after a while everything began to look the same and we had reached our saturation point.  It was a truly Istanbul experience which I'm glad we braved.  Will I return on our next trip to Istanbul?  I just might.

A Child-Free Zone??

We've all heard the debate.  And I'm sure we've all heard the children as well.   Nothing seems to fire people up more than the question of children in public.  One side accuses the other of being "anti-child" while the other lashes back saying that poor parenting creates children who run amok.  Throughout the debate the underlying question remains:  when and where is it appropriate to bring children and will we even be able to all agree?  Where you stand on this issue depends on where you are coming from.  Personally, I know my own position on this question has changed since I became a parent. Prior to entering the parenthood club, it wasn't so much that I didn't think children belonged in certain situations; rather in most cases I just didn't want to have to deal with them.  Now, from the perspective of a parent, my thinking has changed (somewhat).

Restaurants and airplanes are two of the most common hot button locations where the debate is particularly polarized.  (Of course I've witnessed my share of unruly and disruptive adults in both venues but that is a topic for another blog entry).  The restaurant question is regularly posed and discussed with Tom Sietsema, The Washington Post's food critic.  Should children be allowed to eat in nicer restaurants?  Is it acceptable to bring children out to a nice restaurant for lunch but not dinner?  Or should families with children be relegated to fast food and informal dining chains? Airplane travel is another constant debate.  National Geographic's Christopher Elliot moderates these debates in his column where the question of children seems to be the most prominent travel related question.  People argue about whether airplanes should have designated child-free zones, family areas, or should children be banned from certain flights all together.   I've received my own fair share of dirty looks from fellow passengers when they see me boarding an airplane with a small child in tow but I understand where they are coming from.  Who hasn't spent a long fight with little feet kicking the back of their seat with the offender's parents sitting there oblivious to what is happening? We've all heard the screaming child as well.  Most times the crying can't be helped but that doesn't make the situation any more tolerable.  Ironically, now that I am a parent, other people's crying children don't bother me. I can usually tune out the noise and sit there feeling grateful that I am not responsible for the source of the disruption.

The children - no children debate is also deeply cultural.  In the Balkans, children are welcomed at most places and events.  From my western perspective this isn't always appropriate but clearly I am in the minority with that opinion here in Albania.  We've attended formal receptions where children have been running under foot and have spent more than one late night dinner in a restaurant surrounded by baby strollers and unsupervised toddlers.  When we host events in our home some of our guests will ask if it is acceptable to bring their children while others will just arrive on our doorstep with them.  At the same time, we've been accosted by more than one dinner host when we arrive without Sidney in tow.   If you have a crying or fussy baby on a plane full of Albanians, rather than give you dirty looks they will all jump up and offer to help soothe the fussing child.  I do love the fact that many European airlines greet all of their little passengers with entertainment packs and special snacks.  Now that is customer service that we all benefit from.

So how do we deal with the child- no child issue?  Clearly, all children are not created equal with some being better behaved than others.  I would say that sometimes Sidney is very good and other times...... not so much.  I love Sidney and enjoy being with him but recognize that there are some situations where his presence just isn't appropriate.  If the situation is particularly formal or the hour overly late, Sidney stays home.  On the occasions when we do bring Sidney out to eat in nicer restaurants we are careful to make sure his presence doesn't disturb others. We will opt for earlier dining times and if his mood turns sour causing him to become disruptive, we remove him from the situation immediately.  (Having a ready stash of "table toys" and other forms of entertainment always makes things easier as well).  As far as travel goes, we are fortunate that he loves airplanes so has yet to be overly disruptive on one of our many flights.  Of course it helps that his little legs are still too short to kick at seat backs and he is easily amused by his father's explanations, complete with toy airplane demonstrations, of the physics of flying (I kid you not).  Still, I spend most flights on edge worried that he will have a meltdown and given the close confines of a plane, we wouldn't be able to remove him from the situation.  Would I support a family and children zone on an airplane? Absolutely since it would ease my worry about bothering others. Do I still plan on taking Sidney out to dinner?  Yes again, but we will continue to select venues where we will all be comfortable.  In the end, it doesn't matter which side of the debate you are on. Its all about being aware of our surroundings and being respectful of others. If we practice this, we can all be happy.