Blog Anonymous

My blog has been a bit quieter recently as I struggle with an internal debate. And I suspect this debate is one that many bloggers have had at one time or another. My dilemma is around  how much is too much to write? How much honesty is too much? Is it better to keep my opinions to myself lest I offend someone? But in doing any of the above doesn't it negate the very reason to blog? Yes, no, maybe.....

First I have been asking myself the question of why I blog. My answer is, it depends. I started blogging when we first moved overseas as a way of keeping family and friends abreast of what was going on in our lives. But over the past three plus years the nature and intent of my blog has been changing. Some days I blog to share my experiences with the world--we have had some amazing travel experiences and I write about many of them. Other times I blog to share my opinion about what I see around me and on occasion, to ask for a reality check about whether others may be feeling the same way. Sometimes I write to let off steam over person frustrations or to share my struggles with the hope of hearing that I am not completely alone. I am careful to not use my blog as a forum to jump all over an individual or a group or to intentionally make anyone feel bad. When I discuss negative experiences or personal frustrations I try to mask individual identities lest I come across as being accusatory. But sometimes it inadvertently happens and feelings do get hurt.

But this brings me back to the very nature of a blog. I fully understand that when I blog I am putting my thoughts, ideas, and feelings (essentially anything they chose to write about) out there for the entire world to see. Does the entire world read it? Unlikely. But do some people see what is written? Absolutely. And while my blog may not have a huge following, by reader comments, personal emails and blog statistics, I do know that what I write reaches a fair number of people. The majority of the people who read my blog are complete strangers to me while others are fellow members of the blogging community that I know only virtually. Some of the people who read my blog are personal friends while others are family. But increasingly, more people I personally know are reading what I write and here lies my deepest dilemma.

When I blog I am comforted by the perceived anonymity of it all; I can vent about bad days, bad experiences and bad behaving family members and no one is the wiser. Unless they read it. Over the years I've had a few people try to initiate me in online arguments when they take issue with something I've written. Initially these comments will cause me to pause and revisit and re-think about what I've written but more often than not, I stand by my original words. It is so much easier to dismiss the grumblings of strangers than it is when I know the complainants personally. On more than one occasion the person who takes issue with what I've written isn't even the subject of my blog entry. Or they might be and they start a campaign to convince me that I am wrong. But it is my blog---so can I be wrong on this page when what I've written is clearly my opinion. Isn't that what freedom of speech is all about?

So this brings me back to the blog silence as of late. My mind has been reeling with lots of feelings and issues that I've just been itching to put into words here. I've even gone as far as writing them out but when I go to hit the publish button I pause. I wonder if my being honest and open is worth the potential heartache that might ensue if the "wrong" person reads what I've written. Do I simply need to grow a thicker skin and publish what I want or should I simply stifle my words on my own blog in the name of harmony and peace?

But there is another option out there that I have been exploring; it is the world of anonymous blogging. There are entire blogs out there where writers contribute their pieces to be published anonymously. I love these sites for their brutal honesty about so many of the issues we all struggle with. It is on these pages that I feel as though I have peers who are honest about their struggles with friends, family and life in general. Its refreshing. And I feel as though many of my unpublished posts would find the perfect home on these sites. Perhaps it is here that I need to start devoting some of my writing energy. Is it ideal? I think not. But for the sake of "world peace" it might be the best option.

Dear Anonymous

Anonymous:  (as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary) Being of unknown authorship or origin; lacking individuality, distinction, or originality.

There are many reasons someone might choose to remain anonymous.  My favorite is when generous people make significant, or perhaps not so significant, contributions to causes they believe in.  There is something extra special about meaningful gifts that come out of sheer benevolence without the expectation, or desire, for recognition.  It could be a gift of time, money, or services.  Whether the recipient be a local charity, youth organization, or one's college alma mater, I love seeing this pure generosity.  It really doesn't get more selfless than this.

Other times anonymity may serve a totally different purpose.  Perhaps someone has witnessed a crime and wants to report it but fears retribution.  They know reporting the crime is the right thing to do but doing so publicly isn't worth the personal sacrifice.  Yet they still want to do the right thing.  Maybe an employee is aware of unethical behavior in the workplace and wants to have the matter investigated without being openly labeled as a whistle blower.  Or perhaps it is a child witnessing the bullying of a peer and wants it to stop without their becoming a target themselves.  In my opinion, these are the exact reasons for anonymity.  And then there are the not so positive uses of anonymity.

When we were stateside reading the local newspaper was one of my important daily rituals.  The easiest way to put my finger on the pulse of a community is to read the letters to the editor.  These snippets of opinion provide great insight into the political leanings, values, and issues of importance within a community.  Many of these letters are insightful yet some of the most inflammatory are often authored by someone named "anonymous".  As the media world has moved away from print and into cyberspace this seems to be increasingly the case.  More often than not letters, especially the ranting ones, are signed by an anonymous writer.  Really?  If you felt so inspired to opine a response to something you have read, shouldn't you be willing to identify yourself?  What are you hiding by not attaching your name to your letter?

This behavior has always bothered me but in recent weeks it has been hitting too close to home.  As a blogger I often comment on posts I read but I always identify myself, either by my blogging names (I have two separate ones) or my email address.  After all, I am expressing my opinion and by identifying myself I am allowing the blog's author to enter into a dialog with me.  I welcome the same with my own blogs.  Anonymous comments that are supportive or positive I can handle (although I still wish readers would identify themselves), but if you are making a negative, critical, or downright inflammatory comment, please identify yourself.  If you object or feel strongly about something I have written, please tell me who you are and why you feel this way and give me a chance to respond.  Ranting, insults, or downright vicious comments achieve nothing other than my deleting the poisonous words.

My blog is my own but over the past two weeks numerous anonymous comments spewing hateful comments about me and my thoughts have been popping up.  I am very clear that my writings are my own opinions and as such I do not speak for anyone else.  I identify who I am, where I am coming from, and why I feel the way I do.  I am entitled to my own opinions and will continue to speak freely and encourage my readers to do the same.  Prior to now I have allowed readers to freely publish their comments on my blog.  Now, because of recent comments that I can only label as hateful and malicious, I am forced to moderate what is being published.  I don't like doing this but also don't like turning on my laptop and seeing vicious words on my blog.  These comments have left me feeling violated and vulnerable and as anyone who has even been in that position knows, it is a horribly uncomfortable feeling.

So here is my request to everyone out there:  please continue to read my blog and post your comments.  I want to hear them and I will respond but I need to know who you are. Don't hide behind the potential anonymity of the internet.  I don't and take ownership for what I say.  I am proud of what I write and will continue to be found right here, publishing on this blog under my own name.  I have nothing to hide.