Guests In A Foreign Land

Today is another day of national strikes here in Belgium and more than ever I reminded that while I live here, I am not from here. Rather, I am a guest in a foreign land and because of that it is not my place to call into question, criticize or be disrespectful of the way Belgians live their lives. Facebook has once again been abuzz over the past few days about the strikes, what is open or closed, how inconvenient it all is and even how unfair it is to us foreigners since it isn't our problem. Statements like these make me shudder and frankly, I find them embarrassing. Because like I said, we are merely guests here and as guests, we need to respect our hosts whether we agree with them or not. And this attitude serves me (and other guests) well not only today but on every day that we call Belgium (or any other city or country) our temporary home.

For me the best thing about living abroad is experiencing living abroad. This includes the good and bad, familiar (if it exists) and the foreign. I mean, as Americans (or insert whatever nationality is applicable here), what is the purpose of moving overseas if we try to recreate a little American community for ourselves in our new home. All too often I hear people complaining about how bad things are where they are living yet the "bad" is more like different than what they are used to. This criticism is hardly fair since the American way isn't necessarily the "right" way of doing things. (Hardly). I know that some people move under duress with no real desire to experience a foreign community. They may come because of their job, their spouse's job or other circumstances that they feel they have no control over. This may or may not be the reality but it is their reality and regardless of one's circumstances, that does not excuse them from being respectful of and observing the customs of their new, albeit temporary, homes.

Perhaps I'm just feeling a bit peevish today but I am tired of hearing people complain about our host country. There is a strange sense of self righteousness amongst some people who feel as though they deserve special treatment because.....well...I'm not sure. Some feel as though they should be exempt from following the rules and laws of the country, that they shouldn't be temporarily inconvenienced by events (such as today's strikes) or even have to deal with circumstances they are unfamiliar with. There are complaints that houses are too old or small, the roads too narrow and parking is difficult. I hear that everything from food to electricity to fuel is too expensive here.

Maybe all of this true or maybe it isn't. What we need to remember is that we are living here temporarily while this is a permanent home to people who are from here. While unemployment rates in Belgium are soaring, we are here because someone in our family has a job. Many of us are lucky enough to be able to buy food and fuel on a tax free basis while Belgians must pay even more than we do. So rather than expecting the locals to adjust to my expectations, I feel as though I should adjust to theirs. It is the least I can do. I shouldn't expect them to speak English because that is my language, rather I should (and am) attempting to learn theirs. My not being able to find a favorite food item in the grocery store doesn't mean the store is inadequate, rather I need to seek out a local equivalent (if it exists), tap into my other resources to find it or do without. If shop hours aren't convenient for me or the customer service isn't at the same levels of what I am accustomed to, that is my problem and not a deficiency with the country. If I think the roads are too narrow maybe I need to be driving a smaller car.  But just think; if so many people have all of these complaints about living here, imagine what the locals think of us.

Like I said, perhaps I am feeling a bit peevish today. But if others can freely complain about what they don't like about living overseas, then I can talk about what I think is wrong with their behavior. Call it my own small counter protest on a day of national protest.

Dorothy, We're Not In Kansas Any More

Or in our case the Mediterranean, specifically Albania-the land where anything and everything goes. We are in Belgium, attached to an international military command where rules and regulations are enforced. In many respects returning to a military community is like coming home for us but it isn't until you find yourself back in such an environment that you realize just how loosey-goosey things were where you came from. (And this isn't bad, I rather like it. But because it is different, it is simply an adjustment).

And the differences between the way things were and the way things currently are, are everywhere--at least to us. To begin with, lets talk weather. The Mediterranean climate which we had grown accustomed to was hot, sunny, and dusty in the summer and temperate, damp, and muddy in the winter. Here in Belgium the weather is essentially the same all year around- cool, cloudy, and rainy. But all of the rain serves a purpose. Even in February, Belgium appears green and lush. Acre upon acre of rolling green fields give way to even more greenery. No brown or arid fields here; everything looks fresh and healthy. And speaking of fields, this region of Belgium is flat without the steep mountains that cover much of Albania. When we are out driving around Sidney has been looking out the window and asking where all the mountains are. My response has been south of us........

But the biggest differences between our old world and new one are cultural.  First there are the families and children. Children are everywhere but rather than being treated like little kings and queens, they are expected to be seen and not heard. In some respects this attitude has been stressful for me; Sidney's occasional public temper tantrums which were met with sympathetic smiles and nods of understanding in Albania are greeted with sneers of disdain here. I have yet to see a child in public throwing a fit and even Sidney has noticed and commented on this. As he says, the babies (what he calls any child) are quiet. I'm using his observations as a lesson on how he should behalf and I dare say he is catching on. On more than one occasion when he would have otherwise protested loudly, he has quickly commented that he wants to be quiet like the other children. This is definitely not a bad thing.

And the differences go on. Smoking bans are actually enforced meaning restaurants, shops, and other public spaces are free of the plumes of smoke that I have sadly grown accustomed to breathing. Because of this, going out is actually a pleasant experience. Restaurant menus are varied rather than the same handful of items we are accustomed to seeing. That said, Sidney's standbys of pasta or pizza aren't always readily available. Sometimes this is a challenge but it is forcing a set in his ways little boy to expand his horizons. Whereas days in the Med started late and ended even later, here the schedules start and stop earlier than we have grown accustomed to. Finding a sit down restaurant that actually served food before seven in the evening was a challenge in Albania. In our little corner of Belgium, meal time begins earlier. But we're actually finding this to be a good thing. Eating dinner earlier may mean less down time between work and dinner but it translates into earlier bedtimes and yes, more sleep; sleep which is desperately needed by our entire family. Whereas in Albania we were just getting going by the time nine o'clock rolled around, since we've arrived in Belgium, we have all been fast asleep by this early witching hour. And these differences are just the tip of the iceberg.

But I believe that change and differences are good. It may not always be comfortable but in the end we are better because of them. And if there is one thing I've learned in the course of all my travels it is that what makes each country or region unique is what makes that place special. Just imagine how boring the world be if things were the same regardless of where we were on the globe. So we may not be in our Kansas anymore anymore but that doesn't make it better or worse than where we are now. It is just different and like I said, different is a good thing.